Confessions of a Hallucinating Mom

I am an ALIEN! 

Definitely not too shocking for most people who know me.  I guess, you've finally got the explanation you needed for all the weird behavior, although I'm not that sure even your wildest imagination could have coughed that up.  

Of cause, I also know some of you think yourselves too grounded in reality to believe such wild confessions, UFO’s, giant spiders and ordinary looking humans with super powers, especially, if they are of Ghanaian descent.  Actually, I would not hold your lack of faith in my ‘alien’ status against you, because it is my truth, and you have a choice to accept it or refuse it.  But hey…

I'm not of this world, and I have proof!

I actually have SUPER POWERS. 

I am able to stretch a day beyond the given 24hrs, and I've been doing so for quite some time.   

I have super energy that goes beyond an energizer bunny, so that I can outlast an energizer battery. 

I can stretch any amount of money beyond its face value. 

I can make world class cuisines out of leftover rice and vegetables. 

I can stop a tornado in its tracks whiles wielding a mop stick and carrying a 20-pound load. 

I can do more than 5 things simultaneously, giving multitasking a new name. 

I have averted World War III more than a 100 times.

Like I said…I’m an alien!

I am woman

I am mother.

I spent last night running around our huge church compound with two wild boys.  Hopping from one corner to the other, running round the fountain and chasing changing Christmas lights and I outlasted them.  They were off the moment the car started out. 

Motherhood is beautiful, lovely and TOUGH with a capital ‘T’.  It would have been great though if that was all we had to do.  Add a career, a home, homework, school projects, meetings, social commitments, parents, managing helps, degrees, MBAs and PhD’s and oh…please let’s not forget husbands.

Women do some strictly amazing stuff especially as wives and mothers and claiming super-power or alien status is the least accolade we can appropriate to ourselves.  So, while my claim to citizenship on Pluto may be unbelievable, please allow my hallucinations, ‘cause I’m not sure even aliens can manage all the things we have to get done in 24hrs. 

Accordingly, in this busy season, here’s a list I curled from an article on Family Share[1] to help you (the men in our lives) show some appreciation to all the things we do for you…

1.     Leave work at work and pay attention to your wife and family when you get home.

2.    Give her little gifts for no reason except to say, “I love you!”

3.    Try and help to keep the house clean, especially the kitchen and the places that you use.

4.    Do your best to keep the toilet seat lid down and clean.

5.    Respect her opinions and come to an agreement together.

6.    Plan dates with little surprises.

7.    Leave little love notes before you go to work.

8.    Check the doors and windows before you go to bed.

9.    Cover the bed on cold nights and keep her covered if you are out of bed.

10.  Be the Man in situations that show courage and honesty.

11.   When you are ready to make-out make sure that you smell good and brush your teeth.

12.  Use to your advantage the power of touch. Touching produces oxytocin, a hormone that diminishes stress and increases confidence, either through hands, hugs or kisses.

13.  Be interested in what she has to say and pay attention to her ideas.

14.  Never put her down, especially in front of other people.

15.  Plan times that you can spend together and do your very best to make it happen, to show that you love her and want to spend your time with her.

16.  Ask for forgiveness when you do something wrong and forgive her when she does something wrong.

17.  Be grateful for the dedication that she has for the family and everything she does, like cleaning the house, doing the laundry, dishes, cooking and everything else, every day.

18.  Demonstrate that you appreciate her more with actions than words.

19.  Always remember important dates like your anniversary and her birthday.

20. Be a reliable father and spend quality time with the kids.

21.  Agree with your wife when it comes to the kids.

22. Compliment her on her appearance, especially in the morning when she just woke up, has no make-up and has messy hair.

23. Stay a little longer in bed with her in the morning.

24. Don’t rush her.

25. Send her Whatsapps and text messages for no reason, always say good things.

26. Be affectionate, hug her and kiss her even if you aren’t in the mood for sex.

27. Include her when you make plans.

28. Come home from work quickly because you miss your wife.

29. Worry about her health and always try to take care of her.

30. Make her smile with a joke, or with a mischievous smile.

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[1] How to appreciate your wife 30 ways to show your wife you appreciate her